WellShit
by DBD Turdukken X
Summary: A semi-self insert. From a dull southern U.S.A. Lifestyle full of guns booze and combat training for fun to a world where the gravity is half of Earth's and strange shit. "Are you sure this ain't Canada?" "Shut the fuck up Carl." Character death times three.


Well…Shit.

Chapter 1

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OC:

Name: Rex Andrews.

Age: 15

Height: 6'

Appearance: Black crew cut, black beard and mustache and green eyes.

Outfit: Black Combat boots, Urban camo combat pants, Light gray muscle-tee, Black combat armor chest piece, black leather armored jacket, silver tinted ballistic shades, black armored combat gloves and black armor shin, knee and thigh guards.(Combat armor from Fallout 4)

Weapons:

Black ACR with laser pointer, ACOG, bayonet, side mounted forward pistol grip and underslung M203.

Black S-12 with pistol grip, bayonet, laser pointer, flashlight and red dot sight.

Black 1911 with mini-RDS, extended mag, silencer and laser pointer.

Black .44 Mag revolver with mini-RDS, and laser pointer.

Black bolt action magazine fed 6-5 Kreedmore with Thermal scope, bipod, free floated barrel, and infrared laser pointer.

Aura color: Unknown

Semblance: Unknown.

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{Unknown.}

'Ow, pain.' Was the first thing I thought as I emerged from the inky blackness of unconsciousness.

I looked around and saw that I was in my normal outfit with my combat armor laying next to me and not even ten feet away the family fun safe was buried in the ground with a tactical backpack and a fuck ton of ammo and magazines laying on it.

I got up and looked around to see that I was in a forest and looked up to see a floating Island with a crystal sticking out the ass end.

"The fuck?" I wondered aloud. If that was Amity Coliseum then this must be Remnant, but…how. I heard a howl in the distance dragging me out of my thoughts and I got to work. First I put on my combat armor, then I took the safe key out of my pocket and opened it up, strangely enough only the guns I used were in there. I shook off any random thoughts and examined them for damage, none, I then got to sorting the ammo and loading the mags that were there. I ended up with 10 30 round mags for my ACR, 3 50 round drum mags for my S-12, 6 10 round mags for my Kreedmore, 5 30 round stick mags for my 1911 and 12 quick loaders for my .44. No spare ammo though. I searched my pockets and found my pocket knife. I searched though the bag and found an SOGFARI combat knife and a sharpened black entrenching tool, a flashlight that had a knife blade sticking out of the business end and a water pack.

I loaded all my ammo into the various pockets on my person shouldered the pack and set off.

{Emerald Forest.}

'Well…Shit." I thought staring down at least a hundred Beowolves.

They started chasing me as I took off.

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" I shouted running as fast as my legs and the low gravity of Remnant would allow me. I ended up running into a cave…and fell into a pit as I looked back for the creatures. "FUUUUUUUUUCK!" I screamed as I fell into a rather sizable Dust deposit. Getting impaled by 4 different dust crystal formations, and fell unconscious.

{3 hours later.}

'Ow…pain.' I thought waking up in the cavern. I looked down and saw 4 holes in my shirt with blood in the area surrounding them, and the wounds that released the blood were closed and the crystals that had caused the wound had disappeared.

"Did I just absorb dust?" I thought. I tried to remember what the color of dust were that impaled me. I remember red dust, fire. Electric blue, lightning probably. Ice blue, Ice. And finally lime green dust. I held out my hand and imagined fire engulfing it, Nothing. I tried to to figure out why it didn't work before I decided to change my shirt. Then I heard a growl come from down a tunnel I just noticed I turned with my ACR raised. Out of the shadows came a large wolf easily my height. I snarled not at me but at something behind me, I turned just in time to see a huge black spider type Grimm lunge at me only to to get tackled by the wolf. I took the chance to put two short five round bursts into the damn things armored skull.

The wolf looked at me and lowered itself in a manner that said hop on. "Sure why not, I'm in a fictional land, might as well ride a Dire Wolf into battle." I said.

{Random Alleyway behind Beacon.}

"Alright buddy stay here until I call for ya." I said patting the wolf on the head before walking out of the alleyway when no one was looking and heading to hop on an Atlas fighter/gunship thing, by hugging to the underside of the hull.

After a few minutes it took off and flew over the Coliseum where I let go of the hull fell fifty feet and landed like I had just jumped from the back of my dad's pickup bed, I ran to the edge of the roof and got into a prone position and saw that it was the first fight of the finals rounds. "Shit!" I exclaimed before pulling out my Kreedmore set up the bipod and used the laser range finder to dial it in…Then I saw a flash of green. "Emerald." I growled. I turned my rifle her way, 300 meters and since the gravity here was half set it to 150 meters, wind…none in the arena, I made the proper adjustments to the scope and just as I saw in the edge of my scope's vision I saw Yang start to walk away aaaand…*CRACK* the green haired menace fell to the ground, the match grade round having torn a hole in her shoulder shredding the muscles tendons and veins as well as shattering her shoulder blade and dislocating her shoulder joint.

Of course the wind up here on the roof carried the sound away, no one was any the wiser, hopefully she would bleed out and be left there since she was in a secluded corner that was probably meant for camera men to hide…back when this place used camera men, of course I'd have to re-rifle the barrel, even if the bullet was in a million pieces buried in her shoulder I have no idea how good the forensic technology in Remnant is.

Of course it was night with heavy cloud cover so I stood up my dark form helping me blend in with the sky and bolted off the roof and landed on an Airbus that was headed to Beacon. I jumped off and landed behind a random stand and only then did I eject the empty brass in the rifle's chamber, I pocketed the shell, slung the rifle over my shoulder and walked out from behind the hot chocolate stand walking past the sniper from Team BRNZ, May Zedong. "Evnin'." I said nodding my head in her direction.

"Mmm…hm." She replied.

I decided I'd try my luck and see if anyone was looking for a hired hand. Then I saw Cinder Fall, her scroll sticking out of her back pocket. 'Score.' I thought. I walked past her an accidentally bumped into her. "Sorry." I quickly apologized before walking off. I stopped by a stand that sold scrolls and bought one with the money from Cinder's wallet, I copied all data to my scroll and dumped her's. I went through the data and I found one new thing, after the finals round there would be a drawing to a match 16 others against each other in one on one matches, the winners got teamed up into teams of four and the winning team got admittance into the Combat Academy who sponsored the match, each school sponsored on. I immediately signed up for it, it was for anyone who wasn't lucky enough or had the money to submit an application as well as anyone who didn't go to Combat School and didn't take an admittance test, I also worked with things a bit and made sure I would be one of the one's picked, I may not be a Navy SEAL, but I had a Black Belt in Karate and Kung Fu as well as training in a number of knife and axe fighting techniques, plus as you could probably tell I could shoot fairly straight, so I probably had a decent chance to get to the Teams portion and then it would hopefully be easier.

{Coliseum, the next day.}

I had walked up to one of the staff as instructed and informed them that I was here for the enrollment round for Beacon and was lead to a room where I could sleep and prepare my gear.

Now I was watching the final match, Yang versus Pyrrha. As far as I could tell from the aura board Pyrrha was winning… But she had hit Yang pretty hard multiple times. 'Her mistake.' I thought. Then… *BANG* Yang let loose an awesome upper cut, after knocking Pyrrha's shield out of the way, launching Pyrrha into the air stunning Pyrrha long enough for Yang to jump up and launch the prize fighter into the ground knocking her out. "What an upset! Yang Xiao Long has just beaten Pyrrha Nikos, securing her position as the winner of the Vytal Tournament!"

{After the victory ceremony.}

"Now then for the Enrollment round!" Oobleck said. "First up is the Beacon round!"

Indeed my name was the first to show up. Followed by the Malachite twins, Penny and a bunch of other random people.

"Will all applicants report to the coliseum infirmary." Port said.

{Amity Imfirmary}

"All right, mister…Rex I just need to check on your vitals, make sure that you have the go ahead to participate." A female nurse said walking in.

"Sure." I said.

"First question have you had your aura unlocked?" She asked.

"Negative." I said.

"Then Let's fix that." She said before putting her hand on my shoulder and feeling a power surge through me. "Done."

"Wow, feels like adrenalin." I said.

"Now then, what is the most you can lift?" She asked.

I decided to keep it believable, the max I could liftin a normal earth Gravity was bench 250 and squat 350 but in Remnant's half a G gravity I could probably bench 500 pounds, and squat 700. "I can Bench 350 and squat 500." I said.

"That is quite impressive." She replied writing it down. "Any recent injuries?"

"Yeah." I said taking off my combat armor and lifting up my shirt to reveal the four scars in my abs and pecks.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" She asked looking at my back and saw that only the ones that hit my abs went all the way through.

"I was runnin through a cave and fell into a pit that had some huge dust crystal formations and well, you see the results." I explained.

"How did you get off of them?" She asked her eyebrows furrowing.

"I wake up three hours later with the crystals gone and my wounds healed so I can only guess that I somehow absorbed them." I said.

"What kinds?" She asked.

"Fire, Lightning, Ice and Some form of Lime Green dust." I said.

"Hmm…Probably Caustic Dust." She said writing the new discovery down. "Have you used it yet?"

"No." I said.

"Probably because you didn't have your aura unlocked." She said. "Now then just need to take a blood sample."

{10 minutes later.}

"Well good new and bad news." The Nurse said walking in.

"Good news is you have absolutely no diseases." She said. "Bad news is that your blood composition is roughly 50 percent blood and fifty percent liquid dust, and according to the tests now that you aura is activated it is replacing all of your blood with liquid dust…somehow." She said.

"On a scale of one to might as well shoot your self now how bad is that?" I asked.

"Not that bad apparently the dust is carrying oxygen and doing everything your blood cells should do. We don't know what would happen if someone were to stick a match in you and that is the bad part of it." She said.

"I can still fight though right?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Good."

{Arena}

The dice were rolled and first to fight was myself and some random guy named Guts, he was missing one eye and his forearm.

Everyone else stepped off. "You ready?" He asked lifting his sword to his shoulder.

"Hell yeah." I said.

"3…"

I drew my revolver and flipped open the cylinder checking the ammo before flipping it closed.

"2…" I pulled back the hammer.

"1…" I put it in it's holster.

"Fight!" As soon as the word was spoken I drew my revolver and fired. The .44 mag. Slug breaking the man's stride and launching him and his 100lbs sword across the area draining his aura 49% and as he got up again I fired again knocking him out of the arena and leaving him with 2% aura easily in the Red.

"Winner is Rex Andrews!" Oobleck announced.

{Two hours later.}

I was introduced to my new team…hopefully. It was the Malachites and someone named Riot. Who had an LMG and a mini-gun.

Then we saw out opposition. They were easily a ripoff of the Reds and Blues from RvB. There was Tucker with his energy sword. Caboose with an AR. Simons with his Rocket Launcher. And Griff with the Griffshot.

"Shit, I dunno guys these guys look competent." Riot said.

"If they're anything like I've heard of they are incompetent as a White Fang Grunt." I said.

"I just hope you're right." Riot said hefting his mini-gun.

"When the fight begins get behind the rock behind us, I have a plan." I said.

"Fight!"

Once everyone was behind the rock I told them my plan.

"You two!" I said pointing to the twins. "You're with me! Riot you suppress the guys with the rockets and knife rifle!" I added. "Go!"

Sure enough Riot suppressed the two explosive wielding morons and the twins were with me when I charged tucker and Caboose. I fired my 40mm with an HE she'll launching him clear out of the arena. I slung my rifle and drew my entrenching tool and got ready for a knife fight only to see the twins had finished tucker. I turned with my revolver to see that the other two had had their asses handed to them.

"Well...Shit."

"Team RRMM(Ram) has won!"


End file.
